The Future...

I had my future all planned out although I never really told a soul. I knew what college I wanted to go to... what I wanted to study... where I wanted to marry... and how many children I wanted.

Two days ago that plan changed abruptly.

I got denied from my dream school, BYU. My nightmare had become a reality. At that moment only one word can describe what I was feeling...

DEVASTATION

For two days all I did was mope around and cry while eating all the carbohydrates I could find (day two I ordered two boxes of pizza and a bag of bread sticks)!

I put myself down constantly stating that I was an idiot for not getting in and that I was stupid that I thought I could get back my old life in Utah. I was angry with the world and with my father in heaven...

I felt that I had wasted years of my life preparing myself for this amazing school that was supposed to lead me to the future I had dreamed about constantly. I had wasted the last two years of high school in a state which I loathed. I had begged my parents to send me back to the place that brought me happiness but they insisted that this would help my future immensely. I had worked hard by being officers of clubs, seminary vice president, sterling scholar of marketing, working two jobs, interning at Nordstrom, district choir soloist, etc. but all I got was a big fat denied on my application.

 I honestly believed that I had the worst luck in the world…

This morning I woke up and threw my hands above my head and yelled,

“Oh well!”

I had realized that this one little thing was not going to end of my life. I had so much to be grateful for! I had been accepted to 3/4 schools that I had heard back from, I had a family, a house, a religion, and well, I was still breathing. 

I started to realize how selfish I was being.

This challenge was not given to me to end my life. It was given to push it forward. Although I cannot say I am satisfied with the answer I was given I know this answer was given to me for a reason. Maybe I was never supposed to go to BYU. Maybe I was supposed to go in a year as a transfer student. Honestly only two people know and neither of them are me!

Happiness sometimes arrives in mysterious ways...

But it is always given.

 Let me just say that no matter where life takes me I will be happy!